Consent & Party Etiquette

Etiquette for parties

KAOS may not be the most rule heavy of clubs, however there are some guidelines people are expected to follow if they are going to attend our events. Failing to follow these guidelines can lead to expulsion from events. In more serious cases, pretty much total ostracism.
These really ought to be intuitive but some people seem to find them difficult so here we are.

  • Most important rule to live by, DON'T BE A DICK. It's surprisingly easy to follow. Just think, 'how much would this piss me off', 'am I doing this to annoy someone else?' 'might someone not want me to do this?' If the answer is a fair amount or yes, just don't...
  • Closed doors in party flats are closed for a reason. To keep you out. So stay out.
  • Dance (if you are so inclined) and enjoy yourself
  • Enthusiastic consent
  • If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, please talk to a Buro member or anyone else you feel comfortable with. We will do our best to sort things tactfully if you don't feel comfortable trying but would like us to step in.
  • Feel free to drink, however try not to drink to excess. If you make a mess you are expected to compensate the host. Standard soilage fee is 50$
  • Make sure you have transport or a crash space sorted for the end of the night. Some hosts can provide crash space but make sure you ask.
  • Treat people's houses like you would treat your parents abode. (assuming you treat your parents property with respect) Hosts are volunteers, we want them to keep volunteering.

Enthusiastic consent

• In KAOS it is not uncommon for people to have a bit of naughty fun, we can be a somewhat ‘friendly’ bunch as social groups go, however, as a club we expect enthusiastic consent. This means a few things. One of these is, that ‘No means no’ isn’t quite enough. Rather, informed enthusiastic consent is the rule. If you aren’t sure if someone wants you to kiss them for example, ask. If the answer is anything less than an enthusiastic yes, don’t do it. Seems easy right?

• If someone is drunk, or otherwise impaired, they are not capable of giving that informed enthusiastic consent. That is pretty much where the informed comes in.

• In case this didn’t explain it well enough, “Consent needs to be active, informed, and enthusiastic. This means -
Informed: Everyone knows what's happening.
Active: Everyone is choosing to be involved.
Enthusiastic: Everyone wants to be involved”

• If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, please talk to a Politburo member or anyone else you feel comfortable with. As a Buro, we will do our best to sort things tactfully if you don’t feel comfortable and would like us to step in. If you don’t want us to step in, please let us know anyway. As we want to make sure the sort of behaviour that makes people uncomfortable is not repeated.

•Consent can be withdrawn at any time

• It is everyone’s responsibility within the club to call others out on these issues. If you see something that doesn’t look right, we encourage you to ask, or if you aren’t comfortable doing that, again, we would like you to contact a Buro member. And they can attempt to make sure everything is above board.

• The Politburo, in case you are confused have the Black KAOS badges, hosts are also a good point of call if you feel more comfortable talking to them or are unable to find anyone on the Buro.

Hopefully you will know the Politburo members, but if you don’t, their pictures are in the manifesto and the website. Also, remember that you can talk to anyone you are comfortable talking to and if you so desire, they can talk to the Buro on your behalf.