Glorious Leaders of KAOS

The politburo is filled with Kaosians hand picked by the glorious leader to assist him in the running of KAOS. Of course all of these wonderful politburo members are the most loyal of the dictators followers, none of them would ever do anything like run a resistance.

Madam Dictator, The Thorned Goddess, Conqueror of the Nile, Essence of Beauty, Tamer of the Four Legged Snuffling Beasties, Devourer of Hearts, Lady of like TWELVE lakes, Protector of the Faithful, Brandisher of the Eternal Ladle, Queen of the Amazons, Defiler of Innocence


Our great and beautiful Dictator is known by many names and titles, all of which are spoken with reverence, such is the force of her charm. Her achievements are far too numerous to list, and many are too indecent to list publicly, but if you ask around you may hear a whisper, or you may be struck down without mercy. It depends on who you ask and how. What can be said here, is that Amelia has stolen the hearts of all she has encountered, sometimes she is even willing to give them back, other times... well... you should see her politburo. A more hopelessly enthralled group of scoundrels, villains and general ragamuffins has never before been assembled. If you are ever lucky enough to gaze on the great beauty of our magnificent Madam Dictator, consider yourself truly blessed. However, you must also be wary, she does not have your best interests at heart. Before you know it you may have been drawn into the swirling plots and machinations which surround her, or sacrificed to further any of her numerous dark goals. Regardless, you have been warned.

Pray she reign forever.
Pray she smile upon you.
Pray you can be of use to her.

The Bodyguard
(Captain Jack Smooth)

The Bodyguard is a position as important as it is lucrative. It has been said that Captain Smooth (often incorrectly called Jack), occupied many positions to climb the slippery pole to power. It's even said that he has been laid low by the very Dictatrix whom he's sworn to protect. Such ideas are just idle rumour. Despite his sordid past, Captain Smooth (with his endless charm and determination) has shown himself willing to throw his supple flesh in the way of any harm directed at the illustrious dictator. Great Old Ones only know how this fine, strapping, young man deals with the weight of such responsibility and the constant temptation of betrayal. When asked how he maintains such loyalty against such temptation he simply smiles and replies, 'I do it for The Greater Good'.

The Vizier

The Mighty Thor is a strange ManBeast. A hairy brute of a man with a surprising taste for fine tea, good scotch, rose gardens and long discussions of History and Philosophy. An ancient beast, Mum has been around campus and KAOS for some time now, and has been involved in most everything, from running killing rounds, stunts and organising battles to hosting wild swinging shindigs, dressing like a madman and completing too many courses of academic study. There are even some rumours that once, in the long long ago, he led the glorious club of KAOS himself, and twisted all to his dark desires. These rumours are of course unsubstantiated, as he is, and always has been, a devout follower of our most beautiful and terrifying Dictator. Which of course is why he was chosen to take on the role of The Grand Vizier, his previous experience and UNQUESTIONABLE LOYALTY make him the perfect candidate to whisper dark plans into the Dictators ear, and guide her to new levels of depravity and glory.

(Lance/Agent Roberts)

After a harrowing sojourn beyond the very gates of Hell, the Dread Agent Roberts has returned to the disturbingly tranquil seas of Academia with a fiery purpose. Amongst the lost and wandering souls that meander through the shallows, he seeks to find those few that possess such mettle that might be crafted into true and fearsome Agents, as once were held in awe. Bloodthirsty maniacs must be brought to heel and taught true artistry. Old techniques must be perfected and refined. New legends must be forged, to be added to the ancient and glorious annals of Kaos. To see this done, the Dread Agent Roberts has chosen to put aside his weapons, seal away his collection of exotic poisons, and release his trusted killer whale into the wild. He will, for a time, take the honoured role of Q, so as to teach, rather than massacre, a new crop of aspiring Agents.

But be warned. If any one of you is so foolish as to utter the blasphemous term 'Arrrr!' in his presence, he will duel you, left-handed, and you will surely perish...


From the hidden chthonian depths of the 5th floor of the James Hight Library Andrew emerges, no longer the blood soaked killer of years past, instead seeking new light as K. Cast off are the weapons of the crusade, the holy water-gun of St Magnus; the Rapidstrike of damnation; and the Centurian of St Christopher. K seeks to learn the ancient ways of assassination from the newly appointed Q, the Dread Agent Roberts. 

Ask not what he can do for you; ask instead how much of a bribe it will cost. 

Do not ask about the robot. There will be consequences.

The High Priestess

Midnight was banished from heaven many years ago. Rumour circulates that it was because the other angels grew tired of her groping them all the time. KAOS eagerly welcomed a fallen angel, and she rose quickly through the ranks. Taking up the role of High Priestess, she will waste no time in doling out sinful punishment to the righteous. Dissenters will be extravagantly executed. Loyal subjects will be rewarded with her mere presence. The crowds will grow to love and fear her. She will help her beloved Dictator lead this scraggly lot to glorious victory and even more glorious defeat.

The Minister of War
(Lieutenant-Colonel Rat-Bastard/Simeon)

The Minister of War is responsible for making war as bloodlessly, inefficiently and gloriously as possible. History will record that KAOS was ever-victorious, or at least our history will. Indeed, if we end up fighting each other again, it's surely impossible for us not to triumph. Also, impossible not to lose, but let's not worry about that. 

The Minister of War is a well known mustelid, pineapple enthusiast and kinetic sculpture. He's also older than sin.